Saturday, January 17, 2009

Life is OK

Yep, can you believe it? Life is going better these days. Better living through pharmaceuticals! I started taking Welbutrin to quit smoking and had the side effect of feeling, well, normal, I think. I'm not sure yet. It feels very odd for me. No drastic mood swings, no feeling like climbing under a rock. Little things aren't feeling like insurmountably huge obstacles, I feel like leaving the house and actually interacting with people. It's very foreign to me.

I've always known that I had issues and I knew I was depressed, but I didn't until recently realize just how negatively it has effected (or would be affected? I can never remember the difference) my life. I look at the past and all the choices I've made and think, wow, how many of those were a result of the depression? Where would I be in life now if I had addressed my issues earlier in life?

I know that one of the biggest reasons I have left many of my past jobs was due to the depression. I just hope that things continue the way they are at the moment, I like feeling like a human. I like being in a decent mood, having energy, feeling like doing more than hiding in a dark corner.