Friday, September 25, 2009
So done
With being fat and out of shape. I went to two stores yesterday and was in so much pain after that I couldn't sleep last night. It felt like someone was driving spikes into my knees. They still hurt. I have got to lose weight and get in shape. I have to. I am trying to watch what I eat, and I know that will help, but I have got to get off my ass and start getting more exercise. I know I can do it, I just have to do it.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
One blog post a month?
So it would seem. I seem to have lost my creative muse, or perhaps I never had one, I don't really know. I keep having the desire to get the camera out, but lack the creativity required. I'm feeling rather stuck. Maybe getting back to school will help get my brain working again.
As I work more on my self and my issues, and go longer without experience such deep depression that I've lived with my entire life, I find that my attitude, my interests and my goals are changing. I'm no longer ok with just sitting around doing nothing. I'm craving stimulation again. Mental and physical. I need to do things, learn things and start moving around more. It's kind of nice to have drive and ambition for the first time in my life. I want to live instead of just surviving. I just have to figure out how to do that. I need to get out of the house more, meet new people.
I need to figure out how to socially network. I never have been very good at it due to the depression and not really feeling like being around them. That's changing now. It's odd how much therapy and medication has changed the way I feel about a lot of things.
It has allowed me a lot of time for personal reflection. Thinking about the past, things I've done, seen, been exposed to. My childhood, my parents, the way I grew up. I suppose, for better or worse, it's all made the person I am today. The question is, am I happy with that person? I'm getting closer. There is always room for personal improvement. I've been working on my mental health, now I need to start working on my physical health.
I can not believe how much weight I have gained in the last couple years. I have to figure out how to turn that around. Maybe I should write Oprah a letter and cry on her shoulder? How about it Dr Phil? How's that working for you?
As I work more on my self and my issues, and go longer without experience such deep depression that I've lived with my entire life, I find that my attitude, my interests and my goals are changing. I'm no longer ok with just sitting around doing nothing. I'm craving stimulation again. Mental and physical. I need to do things, learn things and start moving around more. It's kind of nice to have drive and ambition for the first time in my life. I want to live instead of just surviving. I just have to figure out how to do that. I need to get out of the house more, meet new people.
I need to figure out how to socially network. I never have been very good at it due to the depression and not really feeling like being around them. That's changing now. It's odd how much therapy and medication has changed the way I feel about a lot of things.
It has allowed me a lot of time for personal reflection. Thinking about the past, things I've done, seen, been exposed to. My childhood, my parents, the way I grew up. I suppose, for better or worse, it's all made the person I am today. The question is, am I happy with that person? I'm getting closer. There is always room for personal improvement. I've been working on my mental health, now I need to start working on my physical health.
I can not believe how much weight I have gained in the last couple years. I have to figure out how to turn that around. Maybe I should write Oprah a letter and cry on her shoulder? How about it Dr Phil? How's that working for you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)