smoking

Good god, now I remember why I've always had a horrible time quitting. I HATE the way I feel. I don't think I'm the average addict, or maybe I am. The way lack of nicotine affects me is almost scary. Even on meds, my depression and anxiety go through the roof. My mood is horrible, massive headaches, tired, feel like crap. It sucks. I know I need to quit, and at the moment don't have money for them any way, but fucking hell.

?!?!?!?!?!?!?????!!!!!!huh? shit, I don't know

I keep thinking about writing in this thing and never seem to get around to it. can't seem to keep the thoughts in my hand long enough to type them. Either that, or I sit down to type them and blank goes the mind. That seems to happen a lot lately. Feel like a Ferrari stuck in the sand, motors doing 150, wheels are spinning in the sand. If I could accomplish half the shit that wanders through my mind, I'd be a lot better off than I am at the moment.