uggh!

So I keep hearing this rumor about summer. Apparently our 10 days of nice weather are coming soon. God I hate this state. I do honestly believe that one of the many reasons I'm so fat is the climate in this area. All I want to do is hibernate and wait till it warms up. Of course when it warms up I'm hot because I'm so damn fat. Oi, I just can't win can I.

I keep thinking about my/our move to Florida. To live in a place with some kind of culture. Things to do. Diversity. It excites me. Here, all I feel like doing is sleeping. The sleeping is killing me. I have to find the energy to move, to exercise. That's pretty hard when just getting out of bed feels like an accomplishment.

I see so many things I would like to do and yet I have the energy to do none of them. Uggh! Frustrating.  And the issues just seem to continue adding up. The more I focus on the issues the more the depression tries to get free. And it makes me want to eat.

I'm bored, and it makes me want to eat. It's very hard to "just do something" when in constant pain. It hurts to walk or stand for any period of time. So I sit and I eat, or I think about eating or a get mad at myself for eating. Circles. I go in circles.

I need to stop the circle, make it an octagon perhaps, a tetrahedron even. May still be going in a circle but it takes a bit longer to get round.