Moti....Motivat...ahh crap

So I've been going to the gym 5 or 6 days a week for two months now. I make myself go and usually once I'm there I get into it. Today, not so much. I went. That I did. Did some cardio, wandered through the weight room, and went and sat in the hot tub. I just couldn't do it. It's not so much that I didn't want to do, I simply couldn't. And I don't like that feeling. I'm not sure what's causing it. Burn out perhaps. Boredom.

I remind myself every day that I feel better than I have in years. I remind myself how miserable I was when the scale was bouncing off 600 pounds. When clothing didn't fit, when I couldn't walk to the end of the driveway without being out of breath. But some days it's just not enough. Some days I want to go find the biggest, greasiest, nastiest hamburger I can, eat it all and chase it with a gallon of beer. Today has been one of those days. My depression creeps out of hiding and fills my head with useless thoughts, with self doubt, with other, darker thoughts. It reminds me of why I started working out and I know that, tomorrow, I will be back at the gym and I will sweat, I will lift, I will feel better. But today it's just not happening. Today my body is rebelling. My mind is rebelling. My motivation is hiding. I need to find it again, before it escapes altogether and I slide back into that despicable hole of depression I've worked so hard to climb out of. But how? How do I keep my motivation? That has been a lifelong struggle for me. The motivation, the drive, the ambition that so many others have, I lack. My brain seems incapable of those things.

I found this photo while doing a Google search on "how to stay motivated". Apparently it's a common problem as there are literally thousands of articles dedicated to it.

Oddly, what I can't find is a list of 50 reasons to NOT exercise. I know this. I think we all know this. You feel better when you exercise. You look better when you exercise. You think better when you exercise. So why is it so damn hard to exercise? I think one problem is that I'm bored. I've developed a rut, a routine, a pattern, and it's been the same every day. I need to change that. 

In reading some of the thousands of motivation articles I keep seeing the same key points over and over again. One being VARIETY. This seems lacking in my daily routine. I need to mix it up. After a certain period of doing the same workouts over and over again, your body will adapt to the routine and hit a plateau. Try to avoid this by basically throwing your body off-balance and keeping it from getting used to a certain routine. Mix in low-intensity days with high-intensity ones. Look online or around the gym for new exercises to try. Now, for right now exercise classes just aint gonna happen. I've watched them through the door on a few occasions and lets just say I know my current limits. So that leaves me with free weights, machines and cardio to play with. I need to come up with some new ideas. Thankfully the interwebs are chock full of new ideas.

Apparently I should also set goals. Or so all these articles are telling me. I suppose they should be more tangible than "be less fat". Small steps. It's easier to implement a behavior and lifestyle change by doing it one step at a time. I need attainable goals that are realistic for my body and the fact that, for the most part I've spent the last decade on my ass wallowing in self pity and whatever food I could get my hands on. They say that it's a good idea to write down your goals in a log or journal and make new ones once those are reached. Hmm, does a blog that no one reads count?

Music. I don't know about you, but music motivates me. It wakes me up, it affects my mood, it gives me energy or relaxes me. It seems that a good playlist is very important to a productive visit to the gym. Mine needs some serious work. I'm stuck in a music rut. I need to find some songs that get me moving instead of putting me to sleep. I really really think that would help. I just need to spend some time finding those songs. And downloading them, then uploading them. I need to get on that. What's on your playlist?