6 months later

It was the first week of April when I finally returned to a gym. Walking in the door that first time was one of the hardest things I've done in my life. I didn't want to but I knew I needed to. I was worried that I would only be met with judgement and criticism as has happened with past gyms. But I went. Like a condemned man to the death chamber, I went. The first day was a struggle. I kept my head down and ignored everyone around me. I sweated. I left. I didn't want to return the next day. I was sure it would be a horrible experience. Yet I did. And it wasn't. It's now been six months. I love going to the gym now. I need it. I crave it like an addict craves the next fix. And I love that.

I have had so many people tell me what an inspiration I am to them. Quite honestly I find that rather bizarre. Me? An inspiration? I have found so much encouragement from so many people. People are glad to see me when I'm there. They notice when I'm not. And they often offer kind words, helpful words, and smiles. It's not what I expected but it is one of the things that keeps me going back every day. No, it's not a "hard core" gym. There's no chalk on the floors, there's not a lot of grunting and groaning going on. You don't often hear banging and clanging and you almost never see what some places call "lunks". I think the average age of client is around 60. And that is why I like it. We're all just there doing our own thing and not worrying about other people. So anyway. It's been roughly 6 months since my first day. Now instead of dreading my trip to the gym I look forward to it. I honestly didn't think I'd last this long and certainly never imagined I'd like it this much.

When I got married on June 30th of 2013 I had a 72 inch waist. 72 inches! That's SIX FEET! I was only three inches taller than I was around. As of last week my waist is just under 62 inches. Here's a photo from my wedding. I can't keep those pants on anymore. That shirt was almost tight. Not any more. Well, I pretty much covered my progress a writing or two ago. I still have to remind myself. Look at old photos, compare them to new ones. My mind doesn't see a difference most of the time.

I now log every workout I complete on bodybuilding.com . It's fun to see the progress. And how much I lift every workout. It's a good tool if you lift. It keeps track of everything and even projects what your current one rep max is. But my personal favorite is how it calculates how much you lifted after any workout. I love seeing that number up over 60,000. Some leg days it's over 80. That's a lot!

I've found some great inspiration on bodybuilding.com. One story particularly got to me. A man named Jesse Shand  started out at over 600 pounds. He's lost more than 350 so far. Here's a video about him. It's worth watching. It was hard for me because I could relate to so much of what he said. If he can do what he did then I can certainly do what I need to do.

"Imagine not leaving your house or seeing your friends for years. Imagine not bathing in nearly that long because your body had grown so enormous that it could no longer fit in the shower. Imagine looking down at the scale and seeing the number 653 staring back at you." I don't need to imagine, I lived it. Or I should say, I survived it. Here's a link to the article about him. 

What I have found to be true for me is that I need to find motivation everyplace I can. And it helps when those around you are encouraging.