Sick

Yep, still. And it seems to be getting even better, now my back is fucked up too!

I had an appointment with my doctor today to checked out before my operation scheduled on the 16th of January, only to be told I am not healthy enough to be operated on. Kind of an eye opener that was. Now I need to quit smoking, Dr.s orders. Take water pills for my fluctuating blood pressure (sometimes it's good, sometimes it isn't)

Oh, and then we have the albuterol for what's left of my lungs (go's with the needing to quit smoking) And the fucked up things is, I still find my self smoking. I can't seem to help it. Hopefully the welbutrin will fix that as well as help with the depression.

I can't believe how fucked up my body is at 35. It scares me. I don't know how I got to the point I'm at. I do know that the last two weeks have certainly been a wake up call. A very loud one.