life or is it

I hate these feelings and mood swings I have. I know what causes them, but that sure doesn't make dealing with them any easier. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be "normal", to not deal with this every single day. The constant struggle to just get out of bed, the constant pain in both my body and my mind. So many negative feelings and emotions, they seem to just take over.

I am so tired. Tired of hurting. Tired of not feeling anything. Tired of not caring about things.