It's been a slow and steady decline into my current condition. Packing on the pounds, one after another, burying myself behind a wall of fat.
I know why I did it. I know what caused it. Hell, I even know what to do to fix it. That's not the problem. The problem is me. My mind. My energy. My lack of motivation. All problems I've had my entire life. Those are some of the reasons I've gotten to this point.
Yes, I've applied to the biggest loser, twice. I don't think I have the personality for "reality" television. I don't qualify for bariatric surgery. Well, not with the insurance I have anyway. They want me diabetic first. So I have to do it the hard way. I have to do it. But I look at these pictures and they make we want to just give up. Or cry. Or both.
I've got to talk to my med provider and see if a change in medication will help with the constant lack of energy. I feel constantly sedated. I have no energy. And I'm in constant pain. Not at all conducive to weight loss.
1 comment:
I know from personal experience how messed up our heads can get with food and weight issues. I wish I could offer you some magic fix, but of course there is no such thing. For me surgery was a HUGE part of getting rid of the excess weight. It gave me a tool that worked even when I wanted to overeat. I know that some surgeons and bariatric centers do contests which might be an answer for you. If there is ANY way you can travel and have the surgery in Mexico or finance it in the US, I would beg, borrow or steal to make it happen. It will save your life.
Have you ever checked out Overeaters Anonymous? I know they have online resources and meetings that you can attend. It is 12-step which means higher power, but your HP can be the group or whatever you want it to be.
Good luck! Keep posting.
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