Change

I moved a lot growing up. Round in circles mostly, following my parents from a to b and back to a again. Made me a bit crazy, figuratively and literally. But all that change and chaos never really accomplished a thing. Dad was unhappy no matter the location. So we moved some more. I swore I would never do that and yet here I am planning a move to Florida in two years.

I've done thinking about this idea, this dream that I've had most of my life. Why I have always felt drawn to Florida. And I have, like a moth to flame, a magnet to metal. My entire life it has been the place I want to be. Why? I worried that I'm simply following my parents example. But then, I have a plan. They never really did. I think I'm doing for the right reasons. I don't think they ever did. Only because they didn't know the difference.

Change can be a wonderful thing. Liberating. Creating. It's frightening, but exciting at the same time. To start fresh, to make of yourself what you want. To be forced to take control of your life. These are all good things. I want far away from my norm. Out of my box. And Florida is about as far as I can go and still be in the country. And I think that's a big part of the draw.

As I have said before, the only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions. Well, I'm climbing up out of the rut. This move will be such a drastic step outside of my safety zone. Away from all my nets and emergency back up. Away from all that I know. And that's a good thing. Here I fall into the same old rut time after time. Here I feel like I should just hibernate all winter. I have no energy. My joints hurts. Time for a change.