a bittersweet day

After over two years of weekly visits today was my last with my therapist. She's moving on and will no longer be with the company I was going through. I'm kind of sad about that. After seeing someone religiously for over two years, after all the hour long conversations we've had, everything I've shared with her and all the progress I've made, it's not easy to accept that I won't be seeing her next week.

On the other hand I think back to where I was 3 years ago when I started. How I was feeling and the issues I was living with. I won't say "dealing" with because I most certainly wasn't. I was doing my best to ignore them and struggle every day of my existence. I was miserable.

I've come a long way in this time. I feel better about many things, I have more of an understanding about many things. And I feel like I'm my way to living life instead of surviving. I still have my issues to work with, but now I understand them and I have the tools to work on them. This, to me, is a huge move forward.

I was going to move on and start seeing a different person. I even had my first appointment with him last week and have another scheduled for this week but I think at this point I'm going to cancel it. Not because it's a different person but rather because I think I have reached a point in my life where more talking is simply going to be non productive and somewhat redundant. It's time to take the tools and put them to use. It's like college graduation and time to enter the real world. You can only stay in class so long before you have to step out and apply what you've learned. I've reached that time.

So, here begins another path in my journey of life. One I must learn to walk under my own strength. I have the map, I just have to make sure I use it.

Off I go.