So it has been not quite a month since my first visit with the bariatric surgeon. At this point I have lost a little over 10 pounds. It feels so slow. But, I feel so much better. I've cut my calorie consumption in more than half. I've been paying attention to and logging everything I eat. I've been making better choices on what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, how fast I eat. All of those things I've ignored for many many years to my personal detriment.

Already I can feel a difference in my energy levels. While the depression can at times make it a struggle, I actually find that I want to get up and do things. I feel so much better after I do. I try to remember what it was like years ago when I was in better physical health and I can't. Memories are lost in a haze of depression. So, it's all going to be new to me. I find that the more I do the more I want it. I want to be in "shape", I want to be able to be active and do all the things I want to be able to do.

As long as I keep the depression in its place things feel good. My muscles are screaming at me, and I like it. I'm tired and it feels good. I must keep from letting anything stop me. I must keep motivated and not sink into a funk.

I must make this my mantra once again. And stick with it this time. That is key. This is a change of lifestyle, a change of thinking patters, a change of old, deep seated habits.