Life as a fat man in America

There are few people in this country that aren't considered off limits for open ridicule, jokes, prejudices and discrimination. If you judge a person based on color, ethnicity, country of origin, sex or a handicap you are automatically labeled with any number of negative stigmas. Racist, cracker, douche bag, what ever. But it's still perfectly acceptable to openly ridicule and humiliate the obese. Call them names, crack jokes, don't offer jobs; it's all ok because they're fat and, after all, it's their fault.

And I suppose to some extent it is. Our fault. There are so many causes of obesity, it's not nearly as simple as some would like to think. Body chemistry, genetics, socioeconomic standings, family history, schooling, all these things contribute to a persons lifestyle and choices. Some we have control over, others we don't. Contrary to what seems a popular belief most overweight people are not so by choice. For some it's just lack of knowing any better. For others it's physical and mental issues. And for others, no matter what they do they can't seem to lose weight or keep it off. And then there are the ones who are obese simply because they have made the choice to do nothing about it.

Those of us who live in the United States live in the most obese nation on earth. Obesity is creeping up on being the number one preventable cause of death in this country. That's pretty sad. Yet at the same time, large people are so shunned by the rest of society that some things are complex, even impossible for some us. Things thin people don't ever think about. Every day things. Chairs, we either can't fit or have to worry if it's going to collapse under us.

I have to be careful where I go because of this issue. I avoid certain places because I know that there is no place for me to sit that I will be comfortable. Movie theaters, restaurants, even houses of friends and family. Visiting the doctors office can be embarrassing as well as uncomfortable.

Traveling is an issue. Some cars I simply can not fit into. I usually need a seat belt extension. If I was to fly at my current size I'm pretty sure they'd make me purchase two seats. I take the bus and I have to sit in a handicap spot because I don't fit in the others. Even things as mundane as using the restroom. I can not fit in stall built for normal people. I've been in some so small I couldn't even get in the stall sideways.

I get stared at any time I'm around food. I hear the whispers when I go out to eat. I see the looks of disgust. I hear the snide comments when I have to take the elevator because my knees just won't do stairs. People aren't nearly as sly as they think. I've had remarkably stupid people yell out there car windows at me. People on the street make comments to me while in my own yard. I've heard it all. And they all think it's just fine because I'm a fat man in America. And there's just no excuse for that.

I must like being fat, I must be lazy and eat crap food all the time. I couldn't possibly care about my body or how I look or feel. I am fat after all and fat is a choice. Except for some of us, it's not. I hate being a fat man in America. I hate having to think about and worry about the things I do. I hate not being able to play with my kids because of the pain I'm constantly in. I hate being fat.

For some people losing weight it easy. Like many things. I smoked for 20 years, I fought tooth and nail to quit. I still slip on occasion. I know others who have been able to just stop. Never to pick one up again. I've seen people do a drug one time and fall into a life of addiction and I've seen people never touch them again. Alcohol the same. And food is no different. Starting to exercise is also no different.

Of course there is much more to it. The overall condition of my body. Medications. Genetics. Chronic pain. Depression. It's all played a part in my life. Leading me to where I am today. It didn't happen over night and it certainly wasn't a conscious decision. I did not wake up one day and decide I'd like to be fat and in pain. In fact it often feel like the exact opposite. Like I suddenly woke up one day morbidly obese and in constant pain, having no idea how I got to this point.