Food problems.

Do you know any of those assholes that can pretty much eat anything and not gain weight? You know, the ones constantly eating crap? I hate those people. Though at the same time I've always found them fascinating. It's funny to me when I hear some people saying things like "he's fat because he's lazy" and "just blaming it on metabolism, that's all bullshit". I've never heard the same thing said about some skinny dude that eats 2 pizzas for dinner. I read articles about body builders "bulking" and how they consume 15 even 20 thousand calories a day, on purpose. No one ever has negative things to say about them. But if you're overweight you're just a lazy slob who needs to eat less and it's absolutely not about genetics or health issues or environment or anything else. Because you're fat. A lot like the difference between a skinny person going to the doctor and a fat person doing the same. We get "well just lose weight" while the thin person gets treated like a person with an actual health concern. The general attitude toward obese people is pretty disgusting. But that's another rant entirely. This one is about food.

According to Facebook posts and fake "doctors" on television if you just eat "real food", buy organic, never consume sugar, eat "paleo" or "keto" or whatever the current diet de jur happens to be, you'll suddenly find yourself fit and sexy. I don't think any of these people have kids. Or a budget. Or taste buds. It's often said you can't out exercise the fork and there's probably a lot of truth in that. But as with lifting, different people respond differently and different people have different levels of ability.

Before I had my VSG (Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy) I had to go on a liquid only diet for a week. My caloric intake per day was down around 500. All fluid. And Jello (I still loath Jello). Chicken broth, tea, anything that was liquid and see through. Now this is a pretty extreme diet and something done under the supervision of doctors, not something I would recommend or ever choose to do again. At 500 calories a day I lost absolutely no weight. And I felt horrible. It was an interesting experience. Many years ago I tried the "Atkins diet". After about 2 months I felt like I had a flue that just didn't go away. And I lost no weight. Like none. At all. Eventually I had the surgery, that helped for a while. And then I stopped losing weight. Wasn't eating more or moving less, it just stopped. It was like my body said "fuck you". I didn't gain weight, but I didn't lose it either. That was about the point I joined a gym.

And here I am, a couple years later. And I still haven't lost all that much weight. Though it does seem my body composition has changed, a lot. And I've lost a lot of inches. Over 24 inches from my waist. And I know that much of that is my diet. I started counting calories again. Something I absolutely loath doing but find necessary. It's astounding how fast you can eat 2,000 calories in a day if you don't pay attention. There are quite a few apps available for doing this, something that has made it far easier than it once was. I personally use FatSecret because it's simple. Though I avoid the forums and other nonsense like a giant dog turd on the sidewalk. I just can't deal with the level of willful ignorance and rampant stupidity so prevalent on that part of these apps and websites. Anyway... It's been hugely helpful to keep track of what I eat. And really enlightening too.

I'm sure we have all seen the photos depicting calories in, say, a candy bar versus a salad. The problem is, I can't comfortably eat a lot of salad. Or vegetables. Or, well, a lot of the "healthy" food they push when you're trying to lose weight. For what ever reason my body has a very hard time digesting these things. It got far worse after my gallbladder was removed. I think I may have a form of IBS or possibly some other gastrointestinal issue. The doctors aren't quite sure. They tell me "lose weight, it will get better". I've actually been in the ER several times with severe issues. So it's difficult for me to eat low calorie, filling foods. Things like celery and carrots are a nope. Just about any raw vegetable does unpleasant things to me. And that makes it pretty hard to keep the calories down. Limits the options greatly. So what to eat? Well, that is the problem isn't it. I'm still trying to figure that out. Especially with kids in the house. I simply don't have the time or energy to cook for me and then cook for them. Or the budget. I try to stick with lean meats, what vegetables I can eat, salad when possible (and affordable), but it's a hell of a struggle. Maybe I should try that Keto bullshit. Or not. For me losing weight has been and continues to be a life long struggle. My body seems to like fat, it hangs onto it. I walk past a donut shop and gain 5 pounds. So that I'm actually under 390 pounds today is huge for me. Sometimes I forget that I've lost more than 200 pounds. An entire person. Gone.

I guess the point is that being fat, while not a choice (I know, shocking) isn't as easy to fix as so many people want to believe. There are a myriad of health issues that contribute to it. Chronic pain, depression, anxiety, these all make regular exercise difficult. Stomach issues that limit what a person can eat. Bariatric surgery that didn't remove enough stomach. Medications that cause weight gain even when caloric intake remains stable or even reduced (Abilify). It's a constant daily struggle. One I may never actually win. But I'm still trying.