On the road, the long, long winding road

I almost feel like I'm in rehab, an addict jonesing for a fix. I have urges to sit down and eat an entire large pizza by myself. Something I've done many many times in the past. Or chow on multiple candy bars. But I won't. The urges are already becoming less frequent. I keep telling myself it's not an option. I actually have energy already. It's an odd change. Between the changes in my diet, attitude, sleep and medication, I feel so different. Now all I need to do is lose 300 pounds.

It feels good

How odd to have lots of energy. Sleeping good for the first time in, well, ever. Eating better. The juicer is fantastic. A friend gave me a magic bullet, that thing is great too. So, between the meds, the vitamins and trying to eat better, I actually feel better. Who'd of thunk it huh?

I'm finding it easier than I thought it would be to change my habits. It's not an over night thing, one step at a time, but I think I'm doing better at it than I thought I would. The one that's kicking my ass is the not smoking, that one is sooo very hard and I am not doing very well at it. I will though, I'm going to kick that shit too.

I'm so glad I finally found my motivation. I'm not sure exactly what caused it, but I suddenly feel a huge desire to change my life and my body. It's no longer a passing thought of "I really need to". It's not even something I would call a goal, more like an imperative. It must happen, it will happen, it is happening. No more "I'm going to do it", instead, I AM doing it.

On the road

To a new life. Making lifestyle changes one at a time. Making better choices in what I eat, working on getting healthy. I finally made it through a sleep study and set up with a cpap that actually works the way it's supposed to. It's been kind of bizarre to actually sleep. I was having 172 sleep disturbances an hour. My oxygen levels were down to 72% while I was sleeping. That's insane, and scary as hell. Working on quitting smoking. That's a hard one, such a hard habit to break, been so many years and it's such a part of my life. But I'm going to do it. One step at a time.

Bought a juicer yesterday to try and help eat better. I hate vegetables, so I'm hoping the juicer will help me get more of them in my diet. So many issues to work through, knee pain, back pain, low energy, excessive weight. I will fix them, all of them. There is no other viable option. Taking it one step at a time. It's going to be a long road, but I will make it.