Is it the end or is it the Beginning?

I did something tonight that needed done. I had to do it. I essentially ended a relationship of over 5 years. I thought, at first, that I was giving up. Now I see it as finally accepting the truth. Some things just can't be fixed. Especially if pieces are missing. My life has felt like a thousand piece puzzle with half the edge pieces missing. No matter how hard I've tried to get it together I just couldn't. You can only work on half a puzzle for so long before it starts to drive you a bit bonkers. If you don't have the pieces, can't make the pieces and cant buy half a puzzle, what do you do?

I'm scared. I'm relieved. I've no idea what the future holds. What I do know is I could not keep living the way I have been. Not if I want to live. I have changed so much in the last two years. I have embraced my issues, I have challenged myself to work them out. I feel like I am a completely different person than I was 5 years ago. Stronger, braver and working on being happier.

I finally accepted that I can not make her happy nor she me. We are two very different people. Opposites may attract to a point, but oil and water don't mix. We get along. We share a wonderful child. But our relationship, it just isn't ever going to work, not the way we both need it to. It feels very odd, to be at this point. Even more odd to feel the way I do about it. I guess that is a good sign it was the right decision. I actually feel better. I feel hope, for me, for her, for our daughter. I want her to be happy, I'm just not the person who can do that for her. I want to be happy.