From my mind to my keyboard

keyboard, this thing under my fingers. It's an odd thing, to think a thought and then watch as it appears on the screen in front of me. When I try to express my thoughts and ideas vocally my mind develops what I can only describe as a stutter. It's like the words just can't make it to my lips.

But when I sit in front of this screen, with the keys beneath my fingers, the thoughts seem to flow out of me. I've never been one for writing, just isn't my thing. I've never kept a diary or a log. I had no interest in it. Look back at the dates on this archive and how little I wrote in the past.

Now, I'm almost drawn to the keys. Like my mind is full of thoughts and ideas and they must come out. I've never experienced this before. I've always been a quiet, reserved person who avoided people. Or so I thought. But as the memories come back I am realizing that this wasn't always true. It happened over time, as I climbed deeper and deeper into myself.

One thing I find interesting is, I really don't care if anyone reads it. I'm not doing for anyone other than myself. I  hope people read it and I hope it helps at least one person. But that is not the reason I write. I write because apparently I need to. I can't seem to stop. The more I write the more I want to write. I have so much in my head that needs out. Some of it, like this blog, is just ramblings of a deranged mind.

I have no answer yet as to why this is happening. I don't claim to understand it. What I do know is it helps. I also know that my physical health is tied closely to my mental health and what helps my mind feel calm also helps my body feel calm. When I write these things on the screen the motivate me. They interest me and they make me want to do more. To work harder.