Her'es a blog about nothing

Or everything, or perhaps something. I really don't know. I have this annoying urge to type something to fill the blank space but have no idea what I need or want or should say. I have no words of wisdom to pass along, no useful information. Not a damn thing but my silly ramblings.

I had this image in my head the other day. It was quite an interesting one for me. I was sitting/standing in the eye of a tornado. Watching as the chaos of life swirled around me. I was able to see all kinds of people, places, decisions and actions swirl past int he maelstrom. And the entire time I had this growing feeling of peace. I was calm. I was centered. I had finally fallen out of the storm.

I have felt over the last few months like I was slowing down. Starting to notice my surroundings more and more. Starting to pay more attention to not only my own actions but those of the people surrounding me.

With all this reflection and spiritual crap I find going on in my mind regardless of whether I want it to or not, my brain is quite busy these days. I can't seem to not think about things. I find myself in a constant state of contemplation, of planning, of thinking. It's honestly quite exhausting. And sometimes it start to bubble up and out and I need to release it. So here I am writing a blog about nothing. Or something. I don't know. It is what it is.

It's a method. A tool. A means to an end. It's a vent. An outlet. A relief valve. For all this crap swirling around in my head. I feel like I have so much to say and do but the words and actions don't want to come out. They fight me. Or perhaps it's not them that are doing the fighting but rather part of me that does not want to allow them out. What is that part. Where is it hiding. How do I kick its ass. I want it gone, out of me, destroyed.

 I need something. Something I'm lacking and can't seem to find. A catalyst of some sort. A muse perhaps. Something to get me moving. I know what it is I need to do. I have this part of my mind keeping me from doing it.

The only downside to being in the storms eye is you're somewhat trapped. How do you get out of the eye without getting sucked back into the maelstrom? I don't want to get lost in the chaos again. Do I accept my fate and build my world in the eye? Is there anything on the other side of this great swirling monstrosity? Has it destroyed everything on the other side? Sometimes I wonder. I wonder if I will be doomed to a life in the eye.

It's not a bad place, here in the center of the storm. It's fascinating to watch as the world swirls past in it's never ending state of chaos. To observe the actions and reactions of this world.