Reinvention of self. Is that a real thing or are you what you are? It seems I've changed so many times in my life, worn different personas so to write. Not just styles of dress, yes, those have changed many times too, but my general attitude and way of living.

It's changed so many times in fact that I've lost touch with who I truly am. I don't remember. I've just stopped being anything and turned into this fat, useless blob of pain and self disgust. I have no self identity. No positive one anyway. When I ask myself what I am the answers that come to mind are fat and in pain. I seem to have forgotten how to be anything other than that. I need to find me again. Somehow.

I've let my body go to hell for too long now, I wonder if it's past the point of no return. I hurt anytime I try to move very much. I don't leave the house because of how I feel about the way I look. I've pondered this question before. Who am I? And who do I want to be? What do I want to be?