Post surgery

The last six days have been intense. I went in for surgery on the 29th of August at 10:30 am and finished up surgery around 3 that afternoon. I remember very very little of that day.

The pain is the first thing I remember. It was substantially more than I had imagined. A very intense, burning pain that just didn't stop. It doesn't help that I have unpredictable reactions to medications and what they had been giving me for pain just wasn't working. So they gave me more. And then some more. And then some more. And then I woke up in my room after apparently overdosing on pain medication.

So, once I'm awake and functioning it's standard hospital stay procedure, with the exception of food. And the fluids. And the fluids. And the fluids. 15ml every 15 minutes for the first day and then 30ml every 15 minutes after. Let me tell you, that's a pain in the butt.

Dinner is served

And you get really tired of jello really fast.

walking with the boss

My best friend in the whole world

They get very concerned about blood clots after such an invasive surgery.
















So they make you walk as much as possible. For me, not an easy achievement. The pain was pretty extreme in my case. But with the help of my little cheer leader I managed to do my rounds.


The walking did get easier after the first day. I could do it without worrying about falling over in the hallway.

So, I spent a day longer in recovery at the hospital than many people do. My body just wasn't adjusting to such a drastic change. It took some time to get the pain under control and then my blood work came back with low potassium. If you're ever in the hospital and someone mentions an IV drip of potassium, run. Run fast. It was like having lava pored into my arm. And no, that is not an exaggeration. It was so extreme that the nurse stopped it and made the doctor figure out something different. So, I got to drink the liquid version. How utterly disgusting. But in comparison, a joy.

Potassium is a mineral that helps maintain the water and acid balance in blood and tissue cells, assists in muscle building, and transmits electrical signals between cells and nerves. Symptoms of hypokalemia, or potassium deficiency, include dry skin, muscle weakness, fatigue, and slow reflexes. If the deficiency develops rapidly or is left unchecked, heart problems and paralysis may result. Hypokalemia is a very serious condition which requires immediate medical attention.

So, after getting the potassium under control, checking my blood sugars every couple hours, sucking my blood like a hungry vampired and filling me full of fluids and antibiotics, all was well in the world. Well, mostly.

Home again Home again Jigity Jig

So, after three long days in a hospital room it was finally time to go home. I was ready. Eager even. And then I got home. The level of exhaustion my body was hit with, mind boggling. All I wanted to do was sleep. So I did. For hours and hours and hours. And then weird, unpleasant things started to happen.   All in my head, or mostly. The emotional roller coaster I experienced, and still am to a small extent, was intense.

I went down, down and down. Panic attacks rolled through me while I laid in bed. Feelings of remorse, of extreme regret. Feeling like I made the biggest mistake since the first atomic bomb got built. I laid in bed, contemplating the pains I was feeling and wondering if I had made the right decision. Wondering if I was going to really be able to do what I need to do to be successful. For some time I was nearly in tears.

Now, when you sign up for this surgery they warn you about all of this. But really who takes it all that seriously until it's happening to you? Knowing what to expect and then actually experiencing it, very different. It seems that depression, even extreme depression, is quite common after such a life altering surgery. But, for someone who has fought against it for so many years, it felt like a slide backwards, toward the abyss. An altogether unpleasant experience. But that, happily, is becoming less and less of an issue as the hours pass.

Now it is all about adjusting. Learning my body again. Eating what I should, how much I should. Making sure to get plenty of fluids. And the hardest of all, relearning my body signals. Figuring out the difference between surgery pain, hungry pain and too full pain. It's much harder than you would think.

And the very strange changes in your body. Things taste different, smell different. I had a touch of chocolate milk and almost vomited from the flavor, it was horribly horrible. Hamburgers don't smell the same, nor do pickles. I'm not sure what else will be different because I'm limited in what I can eat for now, but it will be interesting to out.