what I've learned along the way

After so many years living in a fog created by untreated depression I have realized some very important things recently. The first being that living like I have for most of my life is NOT the norm. That it is possible to change things. That depression doesn't have to rule your very existence. That there is more to life than simple survival. Those are life altering realizations.

But then, how do you change 38 years of habit? How do you change your self after so many years of telling yourself there was no way and no point in trying to change? How do you come back from a place where you have crawled after completely giving up on yourself, life and any chance of ever being happy? How do you change what and who you are?

I've been working on answering these questions for a while now. And as shocking as it is to me, I've actually come up with some answers. I read a bunch of different self help books, watched some movies, spent several years in therapy. Climbed inside my own head to see what I could find. I've meditated, I've thought, I've pondered. And I've learned.

I've learned that wallowing in self pity is absolutely pointless. It serves no productive purpose. In fact, it is quite destructive. Self pity consumes a lot of energy and creates only negativity. Negativity is a trap, a very deep and dangerous one. And when you live with depression it's even easier to slip into.

So what is the antithesis to self pity? Finding solutions. Being proactive. Creating change. You know what needs to be done, you know what you should do. That instinct, that gut feeling, it's usually right, you just have to learn to trust it. Learn to be positive and make your happiness a priority. It's OK to be a little selfish on occasion, to put yourself first. What you want, what you need. If you won't do it no one will do it for you. Most importantly never, ever give up. Not on your self, not on your future, not on your dreams or ambitions. Never stop trying.

Learn to be honest with yourself. About everything. What is the point of no being honest to your own self? Be honest about what you want. Why do you want it? Is it what you want or what someone else wants you to want? I have had to learn to be myself, genuinely and proudly. I am who I am. And I'm OK with that. Yes, there are things I'm working on changing, but I accept those things about me. I don't deny them. I don't lie to myself about them.

I have learned to be true to myself. To be honest. To understand what I need, what I want. I am facing my problems head on instead of ignoring them or accepting them as the way things have to be. I did that for most of my life. I lived in a constant state of depression because I accepted that it was the norm. That there was no way to change the way I was. I did the same with my size. I simply accepted it. There is a subtle difference between accepting yourself for who and what you are knowing that you have the ability to change if you want and simply accepting things and giving up without hope.

I have also learned to be honest about what I want. For the most part anyway. I'm still a work in progress. But if you want it, the only way to get it is to admit that you want it. If you want to be healthy, if you want to be happy, admit it. Be up front about it. It's ok. Don't let fear stop you. I did for a long time. Fear is dangerous and healthy at the same time.

Fear can stop you from doing something completely bone headed. You don't jump of a cliff because you fear what would happen. But at the same time you don't change a bad habit because you fear what it would be like to change. I spent most of my life fearing things. Fearing to change, fearing to be who and what I really wanted. Don't let fear stop you from being who you want to be.

Habits can be changed, broken, stopped all together. How much of life is just a habit? I ate poorly because it was a habit. I ate quickly because it was a habit. I don't exercise enough because it's a habit. I think the way I do because of habit. The wonderful thing about habits is they aren't permanent, or at least they don't have to be. They can be changed.

Here is another little tidbit I picked up along the way. Say yes to contentment and no to complacency. And know the difference. That's the hard part. I've spent a great deal of my life being complacent. Not much of it being content. At least not honestly. I have spent much time telling myself lies and convincing myself they where the truth. I'm not sure I know yet how to be content.

Another is; be tough on yourself, but not cruel.I have spent many years being cruel to myself, in more ways than one. Constantly beating myself up for things I had no control over and for many that I did. Hating myself for my choices and the consequences of those choices. I have beat myself bloody from the inside out. I am working on stopping that. I have to learn to hold myself accountable for those things I can control, but not to take the whip to myself. It's not as easy as it sounds. Many years of habit. I'm working on being kinder to my self.

So, here are a few more things I've learned along the way. Some I struggle with every single day, others come easier with time and still others I have yet to tackle.

• Be honest about what you want
• Don't let fear stop you
• Be positive
• Change bad habits instead of accepting them
• Find balance in all things
• Consistency is the key to change
• Take the first step, that's the only way you're going to get anywhere 
• Appreciate and enjoy life. It's far to short to spend miserable
• Learn continuously 
• Be proactive, not complacent
•  Find what you love and do it
• Every problem has a solution

I can be the person I want to be and so can you. 

my relationship with food

What is your relationship with food? I had to ask myself this question not to long ago and I was rather surprised by the answer. Do you eat to live or live to eat? Why do you eat? When and how do you eat? All questions I was forced to answer. And then once I answered them, I had to ask myself why it was this way. I never realized that there are "normal" eaters and then there are people like me. People who use food for things other that fuel. Or at least I did, for many years. I am becoming much more aware of my habits and striving to change them every single day.

I learned many bad eating habits over the years. I used food as a reward, as a comfort. When things got bad I would eat. When I got upset, I would eat. When I got bored I would eat. Food was my friend. My one and only friend. Or at least that is how I felt about it for a very long time. I ate for all the wrong reasons. And I ate poorly as well as in large quantities. I tried for years to fill an internal void with food, never realizing that it simply wasn't possible to fill an emotional absence with food. But I sure tried. entire large pizzas all to myself. Two, sometimes three burgers at the drive through. An entire box of cereal for breakfast. I was always hungry, always wanting more. But it wasn't food I needed, it was something else entirely.

I learned something recently. Or rather many somethings. The first, and probably the most important, is how to listen to my body. To make myself stop and think if what I was feeling could be satisfied by something other than food. If it could be, then it wasn't hunger. It was something else entirely. Perhaps simple boredom, or stress or that old desire to simply fill the void with something. But certainly not a need for fuel. Cravings and hunger are biological signals, your bodies way of telling you it needs something. They are NOT psychological signals. Not if they are real anyway.

Hunger is not simply wanting to chew on something and then swallow it. If that is the case then perhaps a stick of gum is what you need.

I have learned that "normal" people look at eating and food very differently than I always have. A person who looks at food normally eats only when they are hungry or have a craving for something. Cravings are OK, they're your bodies way of telling you it needs something. Craving an entire large pizza though, that is not normal.

They also choose foods that are filling and satisfy those cravings. Instead of just putting whatever is around in their mouth they actually think about what it is they want to eat and if it is going to fill that craving or not. I never really did that, I just ate. Whatever was at hand. And  a lot of it.

Normal eaters stay connected to there bodies and eat with awareness and enjoyment. I would eat mindlessly. I would eat and eat, not listening to my body, just putting things in it. I would do this until I was so full I couldn't move some times. I would disconnect, almost like an out of boy experience. Like I was watching myself eat and having no real control over it. Frequently I found no enjoyment in eating, it was simply something to do. An attempt to fill the never ending void within.

In staying connected normal eaters also listen to their bodies and stop eating when full or satisfied. They will respond to and respect their hunger. People like myself on the other, will eat simply to eat. I can not count the times I have gone to a buffet in the past and stuffed myself beyond any level of fullness or comfort simply because I could. Because the food was there and I had a plate that needed filled. Not because I was hungry, not because I had a craving for something but in a thoughtless, even mindless quest to fill the void. It never worked.

Now things are changing for me. I've finally realized that the void can't be filled by food. That void is something else entirely. Food has no effect on it. I am altering my relationship with food. Or, rather, building a completely new one. I no longer look at food as just something to put in my mouth and swallow. I look at food as fuel first and something to be enjoyed and savored second. I am learning to listen to my body and think about what I'm feeling, is it hunger, or is it something else. I'm learning how to live, not simply survive.

Happiness is a habit just like every thing else. Being miserable is a habit too. It's something you learn. Something you acquire. I always thought if I went someplace different, ate something better, met different people, I would be happy. Never worked.

change is good

I am currently at a point in my life where I need to change. Some change has already happened, some is in progress and is yet to come. I have been many things in my life. I have experienced much chaos and turmoil. I suppose some would call it change, and in the end I suppose it can be called that. But it was never an organized change. It was random.

From one city to the next, from one job to the next. Change was a constant in my life. But not in a good way. Because for all the changes of environment I remained the same person. I never changed the one thing that really needed to be altered. I never looked at myself as the source of the turmoil and chaos in my life. Now I have a much clearer idea of what I need to do. In order for change to actually work, to be permanent instead of fleeting certain things have to be realized.

Change requires both discomfort and awareness of that discomfort. I spent most of my life in discomfort, but I thought it normal. It never occurred to me that what I was feeling was any different that what every other person in the world felt. I didn't start to change until I finally became aware of my own issues. Not only aware of them but accepting of them.

Change requires curiosity. What would it be like to be healthy, to not be depressed constantly. What would life be like if I actually enjoyed it instead of suffering it? If you don't wonder what something else would be like then why would you bother to change? If you live as I did, in a fog with no idea that you live outside of that fog and, in fact, most people do, then you have no desire to change. It simply never occurs to you that it's possible.

Now I wonder what it will be like to be at a healthy weight. To be at a livable size. To be able to do all the things I want to be able to do. To aside all the things I currently think about when I leave the house.

Change requires that you care about yourself. This is something I have spent many many years struggling with. A product of depression, at least for me, is an almost constant state of self loathing. A lack of caring. I spent much to much time in my life thinking and feeling that I just didn't give a shit. I didn't care if I lived or died. Nothing mattered. I didn't think I was worth caring about so I didn't. You can't change anything if you don't care enough to take the first step.

Change requires practice. A lot of it. I struggle with this. I spent so much of my life building patterns of existence. Habits. Eating habits, living habits, surviving habits. From a very young age I developed coping mechanisms that kept me alive, that kept me from completely losing my mind. The problem is, I kept using those learned skills long after they where no longer needed. And I suffered for it. I have to practice every single day to keep from returning to my old ways. It's often like being a drug addict or recovering alcoholic. I find those old habits and old ways so comfortable. It's like sliding on a favorite pair of jeans, they just fit. Or at least that is how it feels at first.

So that leads us to patience and persistence. I have days when I slip back into my old coat. I don't beat myself up about it. I have been patient and I still am. I feel this way about losing weight. It took me a very long time to get to the size I'm at. It's going to take an equal amount of time to go the other direction. But I will be persistent. I will not give up and I will change.

There are even some rules of change;

• Change is simple but certainly not easy. The concept of change is something that seems quite simple. You stop what you are doing and do something else. You stop the habit and no longer do it. Simple. But certainly not easy.
• Change is incremental. It generally isn't successful or sustainable if it all happens at once. It takes time.
• Change is slow. Slow and steady. One foot in front of the other.
• Change is facilitated by having or developing specific personality traits. Ambition creates change. Desire creates change. Will power creates change. 
• If you put one foot in front of the other and take a step you can't help but get where you are going. 

I have many things I am working on changing. The way I look at food. The way I look at exercise. The way I look at the future. The way I perceive my self. What I want from life and most importantly what I think, what I believe, what I know is possible. 

Goals, what are mine?

I never really had goals in my life. I have always floated through life for the most part. From one place to the next and back again. I never really had a direction or a plan or anything like that. I often wished I did. So now I'm at a point in my life where I really need to do something. Well, several things actually. So, I have decided that I am going to make weekly goals. Not huge ones, small ones. Attainable ones. I mean,what's the point of setting yourself up to fail?

So, I'm starting a loose to do list. A list of things I wish to accomplish in the next however long it takes. Some are short term, some not so short term. I think I am going to post my weekly goals here in my blog. To hold myself accountable to them, to motivate me to achieve them and to keep track of what does and does not work.

Some to start with, while not exactly weekly are kind of on top of the priority list;

• get weight down enough for surgery
• exercise more
• keep calories at or below 2400 daily
• use HRM on regular basis
• use exercise bike more
• get to point I can use non stationary bike

These are just a few to start with. More will come later. 

More on my choice of surgery

So I have read some very good opinions and thoughts on surgery. Both here and on my MFP page and so I thought I would elaborate some more on just why I'm taking this option.

First let me assure you that this is not a decision I've made lightly. In fact it has taken me a couple years, much research and a whole lot of personal soul searching to make this choice. I have thought long and hard about my options and my choices. I have thought about many different things, the dangers of surgery its self, the change of lifestyle after surgery.

I have even thought repeatedly, what if I start losing the weight required for surgery and find that I feel so much better that I just keep going without the surgery. This is a thought that is still in the back of mind and will be a possibility up to the day of surgery. I have finally addressed the mental issues that caused me to gain so much of the weight. The physical ones, however, are much more difficult to deal with.

I've thought about what it will be like to not be able to eat what I want to eat. To never be able to sit down and chow on a huge piece of chocolate cake. No more 16 ounce rare steak with all the trimmings. A lifetime of paying attention to what I eat, how much I eat, making sure to get the proper nutrients. I've thought about what it means to have my body surgically altered, with no do overs, a one way trip. Once it's done, it's done. I've thought about that a lot. I am not a fan of surgery in any form.

In fact that is probably what I have the hardest time with. Harder than thinking about the change of lifestyle that it will require. Harder than thinking about what I won't be able to eat any more. Just thinking about laying on an operating table and having things altered inside of me, permanently, gives me much pause.

But then I think about what it's like to be stuck in my body as it is right now. The things that have become normal for me. Not wanting to leave the house because I have to worry about things like how far I have to walk and if there is anyplace I can sit and rest. If the store has electric carts so I can do what I need to do. I have to worry about being able to fit in the bathroom. I have to think about what I'm going to sit on and if it's going to support my weight.

I can't play with my kids because I can't get up and down off the floor. I can't take them on walks or bike rides. Going to the park is a struggle for me. I think about all the things I want to do and simply can't because of my size and the condition of my body. I think about the fact that I'm pushing 40 years old and live in so much pain that suicide has at times felt like a viable option. I think about the fact that I am, for all intents and purposes, miserable in my current condition.

I look at people who are able to lose weight strictly with diet and exercise and I envy them. I wish I had that ability. I wish I could walk miles, or ride a bike, spend hours in the gym sweating. But I can't. I try to move as much as I can. But it's not enough. I have changed the way I eat. I've changed the way I look at food. I've changed why I eat, how much I eat, what I eat.

Yes, there are people my size and even larger who have been able to lose the weight with diet and exercise. I truly wish I was one of those people. For what ever reason, genetics, chemical make up of my body, who knows, I am not one of those people. I never have been. It has always been a struggle for me. As a kid, as a teenager and as an adult, I have struggled my entire life with weight. I have dieted, I have worked out, I have done it all. And still I have gotten progressively larger over the years. I've abused my body over the years too, making things even more difficult.

So, no, I don't believe surgery is the easy way out. I don't think it's cheating. I also don't think it's the right choice for many people. But I know that I need the help it provides. The chemical changes that happen to the body after surgery. The change in hunger levels. The lack of absorption achieved. It all goes together to assist with the over all weight loss. And this is what I need.

Sadly, just eating less does very little for me. I will lose weight to a point but it stops. My body has been so abused that achieving any decent level of activity is difficult to say the least.

So I have started the process to get surgery. It's a long process. I started at 575 pounds and in order to be accepted for surgery I have to get down to 500 or less. I have already had to take a two day cardiac stress test. I have to have an endoscopy performed on the 6th of September. I have to attend nutrition classes. I have had to pass a psychological exam as well as an in depth interview with a psephologist. I have visit with the dietitian every month to discuss my diet and my overall progress. It's not just a matter of showing up and saying OK, I'm here. There are many steps to it.

I wish I could do it on my own. Unfortunately I'm not one of those very lucky people able to do so. If you are one of those people think about this every time you get discouraged. Every time you feel frustrated or like you're just not getting anywhere think about people like me, who can't do what you're doing. Think about the people who need that extra help to live a healthy life.

If by some miracle I get to 500 pounds and it suddenly feels like I am able to keep going on my own, believe me, I will. I would prefer to keep all my parts. If for no other reason than that occasional big slice of apple pie or chocolate cake. But please, don't judge me because of my choice. It is, after all, my body and not yours.

a bittersweet day

After over two years of weekly visits today was my last with my therapist. She's moving on and will no longer be with the company I was going through. I'm kind of sad about that. After seeing someone religiously for over two years, after all the hour long conversations we've had, everything I've shared with her and all the progress I've made, it's not easy to accept that I won't be seeing her next week.

On the other hand I think back to where I was 3 years ago when I started. How I was feeling and the issues I was living with. I won't say "dealing" with because I most certainly wasn't. I was doing my best to ignore them and struggle every day of my existence. I was miserable.

I've come a long way in this time. I feel better about many things, I have more of an understanding about many things. And I feel like I'm my way to living life instead of surviving. I still have my issues to work with, but now I understand them and I have the tools to work on them. This, to me, is a huge move forward.

I was going to move on and start seeing a different person. I even had my first appointment with him last week and have another scheduled for this week but I think at this point I'm going to cancel it. Not because it's a different person but rather because I think I have reached a point in my life where more talking is simply going to be non productive and somewhat redundant. It's time to take the tools and put them to use. It's like college graduation and time to enter the real world. You can only stay in class so long before you have to step out and apply what you've learned. I've reached that time.

So, here begins another path in my journey of life. One I must learn to walk under my own strength. I have the map, I just have to make sure I use it.

Off I go.

Anti-surgery hate and bigotry

As anyone who has followed my blog (all 10 of you, thanks by the way) knows, I use a food logging website called myfitnesspal. There are some very interesting people on there. Very opinionated. And very rude. Especially when it comes to two subjects, calories under 1200 and bariatric surgery. Someone broaches the subject of surgery and the vitriol gets thick fast. The haters come out of the shadows to blast anyone who dares consider having surgery or admits to having it.

They act like it's some horrid evil. Like the people are akin to zombies who cheated. Who obviously aren't healthy. Who couldn't lose the weight on their own. Who didn't try or care. You had surgery so obviously you're lazy. This seems the common attitude. Not just on MFP but in society as well.

I fail to understand this. People don't like us when we are fat but then we do something to make ourselves healthy and get looked at like we did something horrible. We make a very personal choice to do something to OUR bodies that is designed to help us achieve a healthy lifestyle. It's a tool.

Yes, there are plenty of people who fail after surgery. But it's not the fault of the surgery. The same could be said of someone who has heart surgery and then goes back to eating fast food only to have another heart attack. Wasn't the fault of the surgery.

It seems to me, and maybe I'm just simple minded, that people would be more supportive, happy for the person, helpful even. They made a choice to be healthy. Why is that in any way a bad thing? It isn't.

People have different surgeries every day for thousands of different reasons. Many are elective, plastic surgery is a huge business. Fake boobs are all over the place but how often do you hear someone telling a woman they cheated and should have made those boobs on their own? People have joints replaced, should they have suffered in pain for the remainder of their life? I could write a very long list.

I follow several sports professionals on facebook. Women who work out for a living. They have amazing bodies they worked very hard for. And fake boobs. Are they any less impressive because of that choice? I'm not a fan of silicone, but I'm certainly not going to judge them for that choice.

Now personally I don't give one half a shit what other people think about me or my choices in my life. I don't live to make others happy and I certainly don't make my life altering choices for others. I make them for me. However, the level of vitriol leveled at those of us who make the choice to have surgery is disturbing. And pointless. Tend your own yard and worry less about that of your neighbors.

A poem that touched me

How do you explain, to the light foot all along
the joy of losing pain, and discomfort when alone.
To touch your toes with breath intact,
to wash your feet, and the farthest back of your back.
To flip over in bed when you're resting your head
and it doesn't feel like you're carrying the weight of the dead
its something you can't ever say
to a person who has never felt
his belly in the way.
How do you tell, the naturally fit
the pride that's there and comes with it
when time is late and less tired you feel
because you're finally not bogged down by yet another meal.
How do you speak to a person of this,
well you can't you can only show greater hubris
as you strut your stuff, as you always had pictured,
but now instead you have experiences with much broader mixtures.
I'm happy to share with my fellow losing winners,
As we each step away from our processed TV Dinners
and let others worry about what or who are the sinners
as we lose our way to freedom, becoming one of the Thinners.

;) ~ Neil

A member of myfitnesspal, a fitness and weight loss website that I use on a daily basis posted this recently and it hit me. Because it's really hard to explain weight issues to people that have never experienced them. And it's even harder to explain what it's like to live life in a body that has turned against you. 

Explaining these and other issues to people that have never experienced them is almost futile. It's like trying to explain the sensation of a panic attack to someone who has never had one. You just can't. But this comes close to summing it up. 

Why I'm opting for bariatric surgery

So I've been asked several times already why I have decided to take the surgical route with my weight loss and not do it "the natural way". So, I figured I would answer that question here for all that care. If you have read some of my past entries here you know all about my mental and physical issues but I will cover them again anyway. Briefly at least.

I have struggled with my weight most of my life. I was always bigger than most people, even as a kid. There was a brief time in high school, when involved in sports and working out every single day for several hours that I was in some semblance of "shape", though at the time my body image was so skewed and negative that I didn't realize it. And then I damaged my knee in a football game. Is was pretty much a slow decline after that. I was able to keep the weight from coming on fast, but it still came.

Over the years I caused more damage to my body, causing me to move with less and less frequency. And then the depression kicked in hard. I have suffered from depression my entire life, I just wasn't aware of it until recently. I had no idea how adversely it affected my life. I do now.

To summarize a 38 year long story; I have damaged my body, my mind and my ability to function as a productive person over the years. I am blessed with a body that holds its weight quite well unless a great deal of energy is expended on my part. This has always been true for me, even when younger. Then it was possible to ride my bike 20 miles a day, push a lawnmower for 8 hours a day and ride the bike home. I didn't lose weight, but I didn't gain any either.

Now, at 38 years old I am well over 500 pounds (thought lighter than when I started this endeavor). Both my knees are shot. I have higher blood pressure. I'm at risk of heart attack because of my weight and how I carry it. I have arthritis in one knee, nerve damage in both feet, back issues and that's just the obvious things. I can't do many of the things I once did, or many of the things I would like to do.

I NEED the help that bariatric surgery provides. There is much more to it than simply making your stomach smaller. There are many things that can and do change with the surgery. One of the biggest is the change in hunger chemicals. After surgery the urge to eat is generally greatly diminished. You fill up fast on much less food. This, for me, is a good thing.

I am glad that so many people can manage to lose the weight with diet and exercise alone. I wish I was one of those people. But I am not. I never have been. Diet for me only gets me so far. I need the help to drop the rest of the weight. If there was a less permanent way of doing it, I would jump at it, but there is not. I have seen surgery work for people. I've also seen it fail for people. It's all about what you put into it and how you use the tool provided to you. I intend to use the hell out of this tool. I want my body back.

Speaking of pizza, here's a cauliflower pizza crust

OK, so I have yet to actually make this but I have heard that it is quite good. Being as I L O V E pizza, I'm willing to give it a go and see what happens. 


cauliflower crust hawaiian pizza
Yield: One 9 to 12-inch pizza (feeds 2 to 3 people)
Prep Time: 25 min
Cook Time: 18 min

Ingredients:


CRUST:
1/2 LARGE head cauliflower (or 2+ cups shredded cauliflower)
1 large egg
1 cup finely shredded mozzarella cheese (or try another kind!)
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon dried minced garlic (or fresh garlic)
1/2 teaspoon onion salt

TOPPINGS:
1/2 cup tomato-basil marinara sauce (or pizza sauce)
1/2 cup finely shredded mozzarella cheese
3 slices Canadian bacon, cut into strips
1/2 cup pineapple tidbits
Directions:


1. Shred the cauliflower into small crumbles. You can use the food processor if you'd like, but you just want crumbles, not puree. You'll need a total of about 2 cups or so of cauliflower crumbles (which is about half a large head of cauliflower. Place the cauliflower crumbles in a large bowl and microwave them (dry) for 8 minutes (see Tips below if you do not have a microwave). Give the cauliflower a chance to cool.

2. Prepare the crust: Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Spray a cookie sheet or pizza pan with nonstick spray (or use a nonstick surface). In a medium bowl, mix the cauliflower crumbles (about 1 1/2 cups since they shrink after cooking) with the remaining crust ingredients. Pat the "crust" into a 9 to 12-inch round on the prepared pan. Spray the crust lightly with nonstick spray and bake for 15 minutes (or until golden). Remove the crust from the oven and turn the heat up to broil.

3. Prepare the pizza: Spread the sauce on top of the baked crust, leaving a 1/2-inch border around the edge. Sprinkle 1/4 cup cheese on top. Add the bacon and pineapple, spreading it out around the pizza. Sprinkle the remaining cheese on top. Broil the pizza 3 to 4 minutes, or until the toppings are hot and the cheese is melted and bubbly. Cut into 6 slices and serve immediately.


From Eat, Drink, Smile (tip from Beth): For those who don’ t have a microwave: You can steam the florets just until they are tender (not mushy) on the stove and then let them cool before grating them. The texture/consistency won’t be the same (It will be more like a puree) but it still works fine once you mix all the ingredients together.

*Other topping ideas:
Marinara or pizza sauce with your favorite toppings
Pesto with thin sliced tomato and fresh mozzarella
Alfredo with sausage, mushrooms, Provolone & Asiago cheese
Barbecue sauce with shredded chicken, green onions and smoked gouda
*This pizza is best served on a plate with a fork.
Nutritional Information per serving FOR THE WHOLE PIZZA- per slice:
Serving size: 1 slice
Calories per serving: 151
Fat per serving: 7.2g
Saturated Fat per serving: 4.1g
Sugar per serving: 3g
Fiber per serving: 2.2g
Protein per serving: 12.6g
Cholesterol per serving: 53mg
Carbohydrates per serving: 9.2g



WW POINTS per serving:
Points Plus Program: 4 Old Points Program: 3

Nutritional info per serving for JUST THE CRUST- per slice (if you want to do your own toppings):
Serving Size: 1 slice (pizza cut into 6 slices)
Calories 84, Fat 4.3g, Sat Fat 2.6g, Cholesterol 40.8mg, Sodium 166mg, Carbohydrates 4.6g, Fiber 1.9g, Sugar 0g, Protein 7.1g
WW Points Plus: 2 Old Points Program: 2


Source: RecipeGirl.com (inspired by and adapted from Eat, Drink Smile)

white pizza with clams from eatingwell.com

OK, two things I love. Pizza and clams. And here they are put together.

White Pizza with ClamsFrom EatingWell: September/October 2012
Here’s an easy homemade pizza recipe that is a take on white clam pizza, which was first made famous by Frank Pepe of Pepe’s Pizzeria in New Haven, Connecticut. Look for fresh clam strips in the seafood department. You can find them ready to use out of their shells at most large supermarkets. If you don’t want to use fresh, we also like the briny flavor and convenience of canned chopped clams.




5 servings

Active Time: 25 minutes

Total Time: 35 minutes

INGREDIENTS
1 pound prepared pizza dough, preferably whole-wheat
4 large cloves garlic
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
3/4 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup grated Parmesan or Asiago cheese
6 ounces fresh clam strips (not rinsed) or two 6-ounce cans chopped clams, rinsed
1/3 cup diced red onion
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley


PREPARATION
Position a rack in lowest position of oven; preheat to 450°F. Coat a large rimmed baking sheet with cooking spray.

Roll out dough on a lightly floured surface to about the size of the baking sheet. Transfer the dough to the baking sheet. Bake until puffed and lightly crisped on the bottom, 8 to 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, mince garlic; combine with oil and pepper in a small bowl. When the crust is done, spread the garlic mixture over it. Sprinkle with mozzarella and Parmesan (or Asiago). Scatter clams and onion over the cheese.

Return the pizza to the oven and bake until the crust is crispy and golden and the cheese is melted, 8 to 10 minutes. Sprinkle with parsley and serve.

NUTRITION

Per serving: 365 calories; 17 g fat ( 4 g sat , 8 g mono ); 25 mg cholesterol; 39 g carbohydrates; 1 g added sugars; 17 g protein; 2 g fiber; 612 mg sodium; 78 mg potassium.

Fish Tacos

I grew up in Oregon. In very very white areas of Oregon. For most of my younger life I didn't know what a Mexican really was let alone what kind of delicious food came from Mexico. I had tacos, at the Mexican place ran by white people. My point being, a taco to me was a shell, meat (ground beef specifically) some cheese and little else. I had no concept of things like this. And then I finally had one. I became a fan. So here is a nice example of yum.

Basic Fish Tacos RecipeBy Kate Ramos



INGREDIENTS

1 pound firm white fish, such as tilapia, snapper, cod, mahi mahi, or catfish
2 limes, halved
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
2 tablespoons vegetable oil, plus more for oiling the grill grates
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1/2 small head of green or red cabbage (about 14 ounces), cored and thinly sliced
1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
1/4 cup cilantro, coarsely chopped
6 to 8 soft (6-inch) corn tortillas
Sliced avocado, for garnish (optional)
Guacamole, for garnish (optional)
Salsa, for garnish (optional)
Sour cream, for garnish (optional)
Hot sauce, for garnish (optional)
INSTRUCTIONS

Place the fish in a baking dish and squeeze a lime half over it. Add the garlic, cumin, chili powder, and 1 tablespoon of the oil. Season with salt and pepper and turn the fish in the marinade until evenly coated. Refrigerate and let marinate at least 15 minutes. Meanwhile, make the slaw and warm the tortillas.

Combine the cabbage, onion, and cilantro in a large bowl and squeeze a lime half over it. Drizzle with the remaining 1 tablespoon oil, season with salt and pepper, and toss to combine. Taste and add more salt and pepper if necessary; set aside.

Warm the tortillas by heating a medium frying pan over medium-high heat. Add 1 tortilla at a time, flipping to warm both sides, about 5 minutes total. Wrap the warm tortillas in a clean dishcloth and set aside while you prepare the fish.

Brush the grates of a grill pan or outdoor grill with oil and heat over medium-high heat until hot. Remove the fish from the marinade and place on the grill.

Cook without moving until the underside of the fish has grill marks and is white and opaque on the bottom, about 3 minutes. Flip and grill the other side until white and opaque, about 2 to 3 minutes more. (It’s OK if it breaks apart while you’re flipping.) Transfer the fish to a plate.

Taste the slaw again and season as needed with more lime juice. Slice the remaining lime halves into wedges and serve with the tacos. To construct a taco, break up some of the cooked fish, place it in a warm tortilla, and top it with slaw and any optional garnishes.

chicken skewers with dukkah

Chicken Skewers with Dukkah Crust RecipeBy Aida Mollenkamp


 Total Time: 1 hr | Active Time: 20 mins | Makes: 12 servings (24 skewers)

Dukkah makes everything better. This Middle Eastern spice mix, often including sesame seeds, sumac, and hazelnuts, is most commonly combined with oil and used as a dipping sauce. This recipe coats the chicken in mustard and dukkah and is accompanied by a sweet-sour sauce of honey and balsamic vinegar.

Game plan: The vinegar-honey sauce and dukkah (if making) can be done up to 5 days ahead. Coat the chicken in the dukkah mix up to 2 hours ahead of time and then refrigerate both. When you’re ready to eat, bake the skewers and warm up the sauce over low heat until it is syrupy. For a slacker solution for the coating, substitute toasted fine breadcrumbs mixed with cumin and sesame seeds.
See below for Dukkah recipe
INGREDIENTS

2/3 cup balsamic vinegar
1/3 cup honey
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1/4 cup olive oil
24 chicken tenders, also called chicken tenderloins
1 cup Dukkah
1/4 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (about 1 ounce)
24 metal or bamboo skewers (if using bamboo skewers, soak them in water for 30 minutes before cooking)
INSTRUCTIONS

Heat the oven to 350°F and arrange a rack in the middle.
Combine balsamic vinegar and honey in a small saucepan over medium heat. Simmer until reduced by 1/2, about 10 minutes. Set aside to cool.

Combine mustard and olive oil in a shallow bowl and season well with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Toss chicken in mustard mixture until well coated.
Combine dukkah and Parmigiano-Reggiano in a wide, shallow dish and mix thoroughly. Roll each tender in the dukkah mix until well coated.

Thread a chicken tender on each skewer. Place chicken skewers on wire cooling racks. Nest each wire rack in a baking sheet and place in the oven. Bake until the meat is firm and the dukkah crust is golden, about 25 to 30 minutes. Serve the skewers with the vinegar-honey sauce.

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Dukkah Recipe

An Egyptian blend of toasted nuts and spices, dukkah is used as a seasoning for lamb stew. Pita bread is also dipped in olive oil and then in dukkah. Use dukkah as a crunchy
coating for chicken and fish, or sprinkle it over salads along with a little sumac.
INGREDIENTS

1/4 cup blanched hazelnuts
1/4 cup pistachio nuts
3/4 cup white sesame seeds
5 tablespoons ground coriander
3 tablespoons ground cumin

INSTRUCTIONS

In a dry skillet, lightly toast hazelnuts and pistachio nuts. Remove from the pan, cool, and chop finely. In the same pan, lightly toast white sesame seeds until fragrant, nutty, and golden brown. Cool, then combine with the nuts, ground coriander, ground cumin, and salt and black pepper to taste.

more yumms

Be sure to visit the chow.com website for the originals. 
I am always looking for new and tasty recipe options. Especially those involving fresh ingredients and chicken. I do eat a lot of chicken. Fajitas are one of my favorite healthy meals to make and this recipe is so simple and easy I wanted to share it and save it. 

Basic Chicken Fajitas Recipe
By CHOW Food Team


Difficulty: Easy | Total Time: 1 hr 15 mins | Makes: About 8 fajitas

1/3 cup coarsely chopped fresh cilantro
2 medium garlic cloves, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
Juice of 1 medium lime
3 tablespoons olive or vegetable oil
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
8 (6-inch) tortillas (corn or flour)
1 medium bell pepper (any color), cored and sliced into 1/2-inch strips
1 medium red onion, halved and sliced into 1/2-inch pieces
Guacamole for serving (optional)
Salsa for serving (optional)
Sour cream, for serving (optional)
INSTRUCTIONS

Place the cilantro, garlic, chili powder, coriander, cumin, lime juice, and 2 tablespoons of the oil in a shallow baking dish and whisk to combine. Add the chicken and turn to coat with the marinade. Set the chicken aside for at least 10 minutes, or cover and refrigerate for up to 24 hours.

Heat a grill pan to medium. Once hot, add the chicken pieces, season with salt and pepper, and cook undisturbed until well browned on the bottom, about 10 minutes. Flip, season the second side with salt and pepper, and cook undisturbed until well browned on the bottom and cooked through, about 10 minutes more. Remove the chicken to a cutting board and let it rest while you prepare the remaining ingredients. Set the grill pan aside.

Warm the tortillas by heating a medium cast iron or frying pan over high heat until hot, about 3 minutes. Place a tortilla in the dry pan and heat, flipping once, until warmed on both sides. Wrap the tortilla in a clean dishtowel to keep warm. Repeat with the remaining tortillas.
Place the bell pepper and onion in a medium bowl, drizzle with the remaining 1 tablespoon oil, season with salt and pepper, and toss to coat. Return the grill pan to medium heat and add the vegetables in a single layer. Cook, stirring occasionally, until tender and slightly charred, about 10 minutes. Remove the vegetables to a serving dish.

Slice the chicken into 1/2-inch-thick pieces and place in the serving dish with the vegetables. To serve, fill a warm tortilla with chicken and vegetables and top with guacamole, salsa, and sour cream (if using).

------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes you just want something simple and zippy. This seems to fit that bill quite well. I am all about the flavor. 

Rajas Quesadillas RecipeBy Kate Ramos

Total Time: 40 mins | Active Time: 35 mins | Makes: 3 quesadillas

Rajas, a sauté of chiles and onions that is common in Mexican cooking, acts as a killer quesadilla filling combined with gooey cheese and a little cilantro.

INGREDIENTS

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
3 medium jalapeños, seeded and thinly sliced lengthwise
1 medium red bell pepper, seeded and thinly sliced
1/2 medium red onion, thinly sliced
2 tablespoons coarsely chopped cilantro
2 1/2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese (about 10 ounces)
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese (about 2 ounces)
6 (10-inch) flour tortillas
INSTRUCTIONS

Heat oil in a large cast iron skillet or a large nonstick frying pan over medium-high heat. When it shimmers, add peppers and onion and season with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are tender and browned, about 6 minutes. Transfer to a medium bowl, stir in cilantro, and let cool slightly, about 5 minutes.

Combine cheeses in a medium bowl and set aside. When pepper mixture is cool enough to handle, scatter 1/2 cup of the cheese mixture over 1 tortilla and spread 1/3 of the pepper mixture over the cheese. Cover peppers with another 1/2 cup cheese and top with a second tortilla. Repeat to make 3 quesadillas.

Wipe out the pan and return it to the stove over medium heat. When it’s heated, add 1 quesadilla and cook until the cheese melts and the bottom tortilla gets a few golden brown spots, about 3 to 4 minutes. Flip and cook for 2 to 3 minutes more. Repeat with remaining quesadillas. Let rest 5 minutes, then cut each quesadilla into 8 pieces and serve.
-------------------------------------

Chicken Stuffed with Spinach and Feta Recipe

By Amy Wisniewski


 | Total Time: 50 mins | Active Time: 40 mins | Makes: 4 servings

INGREDIENTS

1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons olive oil
1/2 medium red onion, small dice
3 cups spinach, tough stems removed, washed thoroughly and dried (about 3 ounces)
Dash nutmeg
2 (10-ounce) boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1/3 cup crumbled feta cheese (about 1 1/2 ounces)
INSTRUCTIONS

Heat the oven to 350°F. Heat 2 teaspoons of the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat until shimmering. Add onion and sauté until soft, about 8 to 10 minutes. Add spinach and sauté until wilted and water evaporates, about 2 minutes. Add nutmeg and season with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Remove mixture from the pan and transfer to a bowl to cool. Wipe out the pan and set aside.
Cut each chicken breast in half horizontally. Using a mallet or the bottom of a pan, pound chicken pieces to an even thickness, about 1/4 inch thick. Season all over with salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Stir feta into cooled spinach mixture. Lay chicken breasts on a cutting board so the narrowest ends face you. Place 1/4 of the spinach mixture halfway up each chicken piece. Fold the bottom of the chicken up over the filling to enclose it, then roll into a tight cylinder. Use toothpicks or butcher’s twine to secure the rolls. Repeat with remaining chicken and filling.

Return the frying pan to medium-high heat and add remaining 1 tablespoon olive oil. Once oil is shimmering, place chicken breasts in the pan and cook undisturbed until golden brown, about 4 to 6 minutes. Turn breasts over and transfer the pan to the oven. Bake until the filling is hot and the interior of the chicken rolls is white but still juicy, about 8 minutes.

Variations: Stir in 1/4 cup of either pine nuts, currants, or a combination when adding the feta to the spinach mixture.

---------------------------------------------

These are just good tasty fun. I love them, kids love them. And so much better than the ones you get at a drive through.

Baked Cracker-Crusted Chicken Fingers Recipe
By Kate Ramos



 Total Time: 25 mins | Active Time: 10 mins | Makes: 2 to 4 servings

Baked instead of fried and coated in whole-wheat cracker crumbs, these tender chicken strips are a much healthier alternative to chicken nuggets. Serve them hot out of the oven with a kid-friendly dipping sauce like honey-mustard, barbecue, orherbed buttermilk, or let cool and pack them in tomorrow’s school lunch.

What to buy: Wheatsworth crackers make a crunchy, flavorful coating and can be found in the cracker aisle of most supermarkets.

INGREDIENTS

1 1/4 cups finely crushed whole-wheat crackers, such as Wheatsworth
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 large eggs
1 pound chicken tenders or boneless, skinless chicken breasts cut into 5-by-1-1/2-inch pieces
INSTRUCTIONS

Heat the oven to 450°F and arrange a rack in the middle. Set a wire rack on a baking sheet and set aside.

Combine cracker crumbs, salt, and pepper in a shallow dish and stir until incorporated. Beat eggs in a separate shallow dish until smooth. Dip chicken pieces in the egg wash, allowing any excess to drip off, then dip in the cracker mixture, patting to adhere. Place on the prepared rack.

Bake until the chicken is opaque throughout and registers 170°F to 175°F on an instant-read thermometer, about 15 minutes. Serve with desired dipping sauce.

Yumm!

Grilled Thai Chicken Sandwich

From EatingWell: September/October 2012
Juicy grilled chicken, onions and peppers combine with a Thai-inspired sauce in this chicken sandwich recipe. We love how the flatbreads made from whole-wheat dough sop up the extra sauce. If you have one large (12-ounce) chicken breast instead of two smaller (6-ounce) ones, cut it in half horizontally before grilling so the chicken cooks in the time specified in this recipe.





5 servings
Active Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes


INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup “lite” coconut milk
1/4 cup smooth natural peanut butter
2 tablespoons lime juice
2 tablespoons chile-garlic sauce, divided
1 tablespoon reduced-sodium soy sauce
1 pound prepared pizza dough, preferably whole-wheat
1 tablespoon canola oil, divided
2 6-ounce boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 large red bell pepper, quartered
1 large onion, sliced into 1/2-inch-thick rounds
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro


PREPARATION
Preheat grill to medium-high.
Whisk coconut milk, peanut butter, lime juice, 1 tablespoon chile-garlic sauce and soy sauce in a bowl until well combined.

Working on a lightly floured surface, divide dough into 5 equal pieces. Roll each piece into a 6-inch disk with a rolling pin or press into a disk with your hands. Using 1 1/2 teaspoons oil, brush one side of each disk.

Oil the grill rack (see Tip); place the dough, oiled-side down, on the grill and cook until light brown and puffed, 1 to 2 minutes. Brush the dough with the remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons oil, flip and grill until cooked through, but still a little soft, 1 to 2 minutes more. Wrap in foil to keep warm.
Brush chicken with the remaining 1 tablespoon chile-garlic sauce. Place the chicken, bell pepper and onion on the grill. Grill the chicken, turning once, until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part registers 165°F, 10 to 14 minutes. Grill the pepper and onion, turning once, until lightly charred and cooked through, 8 to 10 minutes.

Slice the pepper and onion. Toss with 1/2 cup of the reserved dressing in a medium bowl. When the chicken is cool enough to handle, slice or shred into bite-size pieces. Top flatbreads with equal portions of the vegetables and chicken; drizzle with the remaining dressing and sprinkle with cilantro. Fold to eat.

TIPS & NOTES
Tip: Oiling a grill rack before you grill foods helps ensure that the food won’t stick. Oil a folded paper towel, hold it with tongs and rub it over the rack. (Do not use cooking spray on a hot grill.) When grilling delicate foods like tofu and fish, it is helpful to coat the food with cooking spray.

NUTRITION

Per serving: 410 calories; 17 g fat ( 3 g sat , 5 g mono ); 38 mg cholesterol; 44 g carbohydrates; 1 g added sugars; 25 g protein; 4 g fiber; 447 mg sodium; 358 mg potassium.

Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (80% daily value), Vitamin A (22% dv)

Carbohydrate Servings: 3

So it has been not quite a month since my first visit with the bariatric surgeon. At this point I have lost a little over 10 pounds. It feels so slow. But, I feel so much better. I've cut my calorie consumption in more than half. I've been paying attention to and logging everything I eat. I've been making better choices on what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, how fast I eat. All of those things I've ignored for many many years to my personal detriment.

Already I can feel a difference in my energy levels. While the depression can at times make it a struggle, I actually find that I want to get up and do things. I feel so much better after I do. I try to remember what it was like years ago when I was in better physical health and I can't. Memories are lost in a haze of depression. So, it's all going to be new to me. I find that the more I do the more I want it. I want to be in "shape", I want to be able to be active and do all the things I want to be able to do.

As long as I keep the depression in its place things feel good. My muscles are screaming at me, and I like it. I'm tired and it feels good. I must keep from letting anything stop me. I must keep motivated and not sink into a funk.

I must make this my mantra once again. And stick with it this time. That is key. This is a change of lifestyle, a change of thinking patters, a change of old, deep seated habits.

How'd you get so fat?

Anyone ever ask you that question? I know I've been asked it a few times over the years. I always ignored it. Until now. Now I'm asking myself that very question. Just how the hell did I get so fat? I know it's a fairly rhetorical question, I honestly know the answers. It just frequently feels like it snuck up on me.

I've had bad habits with food and exercise. Depression, chronic pain, the wrong kind of relationship with food. It's all taken its toll. Some more so than others. I'm having to figure out and deal with the reasons I put on all the weight so I can change those behaviors and take the weight back off again. Not an easy thing to do.

on the road to surgery there are many stops

Stress test, Done. That was fun. First visit with the dietitian, done, visit with the shrink, done. Multiple choice test to determine if I was a suicidal, drug addicted alcoholic, done. The big hurdle? Getting down to 500 pounds. Oh christ, that seems like such a long way to go.

I have adjusted my food intake down to roughly 2400 per day and once my belly and brain get use to that, I think I may drop down to around 2000 just to take the pounds off faster, at least for while. I'm trying to make myself move more. That's a hard one for me. It's both mental and physical. Not to mention it's been damn hot around here lately. I know, nothing but excuses. I need to get past that.

I hate vegetables

Oh yes I do. Broccoli? Gag me. In fact, most of the good stuff they tell you to eat when losing weight, yep, that's right, I don't like it. Or, most of it. I've started to wonder if there isn't something to all the hype lately about "palio diets" and what not. What did your ancestors eat?

If we're made of DNA passed from generation to generation and this DNA controls such things as skin tone, eye and hair color, propensity for certain diseases and even height and weight, it seems to follow that it would also have much to do with how our bodies respond to various fuel sources.

So I started thinking about my ancestry. Who I came from and where in the world they came from. I am largely of two origins. Norwegian/saxon and Portuguese. There's some Scottish in there, a smattering of anglo here and there, but for the most part it can be traced back to those primary sources. And what do they eat? Meat, fish and bread. My three favorite things.

The Portuguese diet;

The geographical and historical influences that inform Portuguese cuisine set it apart from the food traditions of its Spanish neighbors. Staple foods from North and South America, China, Japan and Africa obtained during explorations in the 15th and 16th centuries combine with native foods to create a flavorful, interesting Portuguese diet.
Staple Ingredients

The corn, tomatoes, chilies and peppers used frequently in Portuguese cuisine originated in North and South America. Baalhau, or salt cod, dries in racks in localities along the Portuguese coasts. Portugal uses rice more than other European countries, according to the Epicurious website, and couscous, a fine pasta, is a common ingredient from its Moroccan neighbors to the south.

Meat

Porco preto, or black pig, from the southern region Alentejo, is succulent and sweet, because the black pigs graze on fallen acorns. Chourico and linguica are cured smoked sausages seasoned with red pepper, garlic, herbs and wine. Morcela is blood sausage, a popular dish that may be the Portuguese answer to surf and turf -- pork and clams.

Cheese and Eggs

The cheese in Portugal is often made with sheep's or goat's milk. Quiejo fresco is a commonly used mild soft, creamy cheese. San Jorge is a cheese similar to cheddar from Azores, an Archipelago off the western coast. The Portuguese revere the egg; it may be their most heavily used ingredient. Fried and placed on top of meats and yolks in custards, the Portuguese use eggs in almost every course.

Dessert and Wine

Arroz doce is rice pudding with cinnamon. Custards are common. Flan is a custard with caramel added. Port is perhaps the most popular Portuguese wine. It originated in Oporto, a city in the north. An estimated 40 varieties of grapes, according to Frommers, and up to 50 years of aging form the complex flavor of port. The types range from white to full-bodied reds. Often consumed after meals, ports are paired with cheese and fruit.
The Norwegian diet;

Norway is located in Northern Europe and shares a border with Finland, Russia and Sweden. The Norwegian diet is based on tradition as much as it is on availability of produce. Only 5 percent of Norwegian land is suitable for farming of food products, and half of Norway's food is imported from other countries. Modern foods have snuck into the daily Norwegian diet, however and as of 2006, Norwegians were the top European consumers of frozen pizza.
------I KNEW there was a reason I like pizza so much, it's genetic.

Fish and Meat

Freshwater and saltwater fish is a major part of the Norwegian diet and is consumed more than other meats. Fishes include cod, haddock, herring, mackerel, trout and salmon. Ground fish dishes, crayfish and oysters are common in Norwegian cuisine, and boiled cod is a delicacy. Lamb is popular during the autumn months and is often used to make Norway's national dish, a peppered lamb with potatoes. Cold cut meats are also common, particularly for use on sandwiches, while reindeer, moose and duck are also consumed.

Fruits and Vegetables

The Norwegian growing season is only 100 to 190 days long, so seasonal and fruits and vegetables can be expensive during the long winter season. Many fruits and vegetables are imported, although root vegetables are ample in numbers. Norwegian consumption of fruits and vegetables used to be scarce, but has improved. A study published in the August 1995 issue of the "International Journal of Nutrition and Food Science" showed that 31 percent of Norwegian subjects consumed vegetables two times per week or less.

Bread

Wheat can't be grown during Norway's brief farming period, so alternative grains are used. Traditional Norwegian bread is made of barley, oats, rye or potatoes. Norway's national bread is lefse, a flat bread that can be cooked without an oven. Bread is typically consumed at both breakfast and lunch.

Meals

A Norwegian breakfast usually consists of muesli cereal or bread and butter, accompanied by milk, tea, coffee or juice. Bread may be served with a large selection of toppings, such as jam, mackerel and tomato sauce, goat cheese, ham, salami and soft boiled eggs. Danish pastries make an occasional appearance at breakfast, as well. Norwegians typically pack an open-faced sandwich for lunch. Dinner is simple and usually consists of meat, boiled potatoes and vegetables.

So maybe there is a reason I don't like my veggies. Though I do need to start eating them on a more regular basis if I am going to get and stay healthy.

bogus BMR

So in my.....................efforts, to make myself healthy again and to lose the weight I've carried most of my life, I'm always found some of the "science" fascinated, skewed and often out dated. One of those is the BMR calculations. Basal Metabolic Rate is the number of calories you would burn if you did absolutely nothing all day.

Women: BMR = 655 + ( 4.35 x weight in pounds ) + ( 4.7 x height in inches ) - ( 4.7 x age in years )
Men: BMR = 66 + ( 6.23 x weight in pounds ) + ( 12.7 x height in inches ) - ( 6.8 x age in year )


So, as with many calculations, if you enter a very large number, say 570 as the current weight, you end up with an abnormally large number that is, in effect, wrong. My BMR calculates out to 4316.28 

If I continue to follow the given standard formulas I would multiply that by a minimum of 1.2 giving me total caloric intake of  5179.536 to "maintain" my current mass. This is strictly maintenance, not gaining or losing, just being. 

Harris Benedict Formula

To determine your total daily calorie needs, multiply your BMR by the appropriate activity factor, as follows:

• If you are sedentary (little or no exercise) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.2
• If you are lightly active (light exercise/sports 1-3 days/week) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.375
• If you are moderatetely active (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/week) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.55
• If you are very active (hard exercise/sports 6-7 days a week) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.725
• If you are extra active (very hard exercise/sports & physical job or 2x training) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.9

I think eating over 5k calories a day is what got me so fat to begin with. I'm currently sticking to the 2400 per day neighborhood. I'm not hear broken if I go slightly over that. At the same time I am keeping my protein consumption up and my fat and carb intake down as much as possible. 

So, I don't put a lot of faith in these "scientific" formula these days. The Harris Benedict formula was created my Harris and Benedict in a study of biometric metabolisn in man in 1919. I think it may time for some updated science. 

Calorie Needs to lose weight

There are approximately 3500 calories in a pound of stored body fat. So, if you create a 3500-calorie deficit through diet, exercise or a combination of both, you will lose one pound of body weight. (On average 75% of this is fat, 25% lean tissue) If you create a 7000 calorie deficit you will lose two pounds and so on. The calorie deficit can be achieved either by calorie-restriction alone, or by a combination of fewer calories in (diet) and more calories out (exercise). This combination of diet and exercise is best for lasting weight loss. Indeed, sustained weight loss is difficult or impossible without increased regular exercise.

If you want to lose fat, a useful guideline for lowering your calorie intake is to reduce your calories by at least 500, but not more than 1000 below your maintenance level. For people with only a small amount of weight to lose, 1000 calories will be too much of a deficit. As a guide to minimum calorie intake, the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) recommends that calorie levels never drop below 1200 calories per day for women or 1800 calories per day for men. Even these calorie levels are quite low.

An alternative way of calculating a safe minimum calorie-intake level is by reference to your body weight or current body weight. Reducing calories by 15-20% below your daily calorie maintenance needs is a useful start. You may increase this depending on your weight loss goals.

Hmm, so if I reduce my 5k calorie daily intake by 20% I'll lose weight? I highly doubt that. That would be a reduction of 1035.9 calories, still putting me at 4143 calories per day. The only people I know that can lose fat at 4k calories per day are full time body builders and other extreme athletes. Not my fat ass sitting around in pain doing much of nothing.

Jumping on the green tea wagon

OK, so there are more fads, scams, misinformation and outright lies in the area of weight loss than I could ever attempt to count. Fat people are desperate to lose weight and crooks are eager to make money. It's a perfect match.

There is one not quite fad that I'm willing to try. One, because I like it anyway. Two, it's a good way to take in my daily liquids and three, it can't really do any harm, I don't think. What is this? Green tea. Natural, unsweetened, brewed at home, green tea.

Here is a small excerpt from a webmd article:

Green tea and its extract have been shown to fight obesity and lower LDL "bad" cholesterol -- two risk factors for heart disease and diabetes -- but in very limited studies. One study in the Netherlands and a study in Japan showed that green tea did both.

In the Dutch study, participants who drank caffeinated green tea lost more weight, but even those who typically drank the decaf variety saw a decrease in their waistlines and body weight. Researchers speculated that the caffeine helps with fat oxidation.

In the Japanese study, 240 men and women were given varying amounts of green tea extract for three months. Those who got the highest amount lost fat and weight and had lower blood pressure and lower LDL "bad" cholesterol.

Taking weight loss supplements that contain green tea extract probably won't hurt, unless you have liver problems.

But the best way to get the most out of green tea -- even if your main goal is losing weight -- is to drink it.

"Taken altogether, the evidence certainly suggests that incorporating at least a few cups of green tea every day will positively affect your health," says Diane McKay, PhD, a Tufts University scientist who studies antioxidants. "It's not going to cure anything and it shouldn't be consumed as a drug, but it can complement the rest of the diet."

McCullough bears the same reminder: eat your fruits, vegetables, grains, seeds, and nuts -- and go ahead, drink as much green tea as you want.

"I don't think it can hurt to drink it. I'd focus on dietary sources rather thansupplements because there are several compounds in green tea that might need to be consumed together. We just don't know yet," she says.

Now, some would have you believe that green tea is the best thing since penicillin or sliced bread and the cure all for anything that ails you.  I find this HIGHLY unlikely and frankly kind of silly. However, some evidence does show that it can be beneficial to ones health, energy and weigh loss. 

So, since I like the stuff anyway I figure I'll start drinking it on a regular basis, maybe cut back on the coffee some (or a lot) and see how it goes with the tea. 

More purported benefits of the wonder that is green tea:

1. Weight Loss. Green tea increases the metabolism. The polyphenol found in green tea works to intensify levels of fat oxidation and the rate at which your body turns food into calories.
2. Diabetes. Green tea apparently helps regulate glucose levels slowing the rise of blood sugar after eating. This can prevent high insulin spikes and resulting fat storage.
3. Heart Disease. Scientists think, green tea works on the lining of blood vessels, helping keep them stay relaxed and better able to withstand changes in blood pressure. It may also protect against the formation of clots, which are the primary cause of heart attacks.
4. Esophageal Cancer. It can reduce the risk of esophageal cancer, but it is also widely thought to kill cancer cells in general without damaging the healthy tissue around them.
5. Cholesterol. Green tea reduces bad cholesterol in the blood and improves the ratio of good cholesterol to bad cholesterol.
6. Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. It is said to delay the deterioration caused by Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Studies carried out on mice showed that green tea protected brain cells from dying and restored damaged brain cells.
7. Tooth Decay. Studies suggests that the chemical antioxidant “catechin” in tea can destroy bacteria and viruses that cause throat infections, dental caries and other dental conditions
8. Blood Pressure. Regular consumption of green tea is thought to reduce the risk of high blood pressure.
9. Depression. Theanine is an amino acid naturally found in tea leaves. It is this substance that is thought to provide a relaxing and tranquilizing effect and be a great benefit to tea drinkers.
10. Anti-viral and Anti-bacterial. Tea catechins are strong antibacterial and antiviral agents which make them effective for treating everything from influenza to cancer. In some studies green tea has been shown to inhibit the spread of many diseases.
11. Skincare. Green tea can apparently also help with wrinkles and the signs of aging, This is because of their antioxidant and anti-inflammatory activities. Both animal and human studies have demonstrated that green tea applied topically can reduce sun damage.